HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
