I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize