Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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