theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
