I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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