your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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