Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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