Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
