i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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