I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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