Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
