When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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