So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
