just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
