I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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