I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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