only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't turn off my feet"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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