I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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