No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
