Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
