I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize