Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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