Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
