i think my mom watched the whole time
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
