i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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