I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
