yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
