So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
