You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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