This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize