Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
