I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
