Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
there is glitter all over my balls
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