Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
