i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
