I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The beer is more important than you right now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
