Soap is not a condiment
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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