So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
