I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
