She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize