I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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