you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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