and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize