and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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