We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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