I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
