the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
