I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize