No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
as a side note pls kill me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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