I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize