They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
