Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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