these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
