Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Houston, we have a squirter
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize