Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
