I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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