even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize