I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
