drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
