He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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