My nipple is on Facebook.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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