I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize