my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
