Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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