is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
